11.20.16 - Mommys been arrested like, what, 20 times

11.20.16

“Mommys been arrested like, what, 20 times?”

As I type this at 10pm, my children are rolling and tossing a bouncy ball at each other down a hallway, yelling “TABLE TENNIS! BING BONG BING!”

As I typed that, H2 threw the ball at S while she was holding a glass of wine.  As I typed that, H2 swung off the staircase and scratched the side of her palm.  

So while we might be varying bedtimes, the regular chaos of Team G remains the same.  

Now, the ladies are up on the rooftop terrace, looking over the skyline of the cathedral complex and reminiscing about the 800+ steps we tackled in two days and just how high we were at the top.  When we were at the top of the campanile and the dome, we could look across the rooftops and see our own terrace.  A seriously crazy apartment.  

Today was one of those days where a whole lot of thorns led to a rose.  

We started out a little earlier than the previous two days, and we were out of the house by 10am.  We headed around the corner to the same cafe and ate a mess load of cornettis - these amazing ones had rice inside - mind blowing.  

Knowing that the main cause of most of our problems is food consumption, we pressed the girls to eat.  Instead, both made an effort to eat as little cornetti as possible and then H1, in full arms flailing mode for most of the morning already, knocked over a tall glass and broke it.  

We headed to the carousel for our first ride of the day, which was immediately followed with requests for 5 more times.  That was answered with a trip around the cathedral and up the street to the Accademia.  

KEY MOMENT: I just looked over my screen to see H1 hanging upside down from a stair like it was a gymnastics bar.  

It’s hard to believe that all these sites are jammed into a space that must be less than about 1.5mi square, but from the Accademia to the Uffizi can’t be much more than 1mi at most.  

Normally, one would need to pre-book the Accademia, but since it is supreme off season, we waited about 10 minutes in line with H2 serenading us with this is boring! i’m bored...I don’t like museumssssss...this is borrrrrring.  

Thankfully the Accademia is ridiculously small, and although packed with interesting stuff, for us, living on time barely granted by H1 and H2, we were only interested in the Michaelangelo’s.  Turning the corner, there stood David, S’s proclaimed boyfriend.  At many points in the planning and discussion, the girls would heckle and taunt S with so you can see your booooyyyfriiiieeeendddd???

H1 made sure to sketch him in his full glory while H2 enjoyed the unfinished marbles for Julius II’s tomb.  This is to match the one she drew of me going to the bathroom.  I am going to have them framed as a diptych.  

S’s favorite part of the whole experience was the girl going top model and vogueing and playing with coy and disinterested looks and then a new style outreach to David’s hand - a humanizing connection to this godlike being.  

KEY MOMENT: S reports that twice in unconnected moments, a man cleared the space in front of David like Moses parting the Red Sea in order to have a complete stranger take his picture in front of the statue.  I was privy to one clearance, and if he zooms in, he will be able to make a fantastic meme of my photobomb face.  EAT IT, SUCKA!

We then blitzed through the rest of the museum, making good use of their toilets, which once again were missing seats.  Seriously Italy, why do your toilets not have seats?  The only parts of me that are getting toned are my legs from the stairs and my arms from holding giant children and S over the toilets so they can pee.  

To climb the dome, you need a reservation, and our slot was at 2:30, so we had just enough time to go grab a gelato and dump our bags at the apartment before the climb.

ICE CREAM #1

OH, I’m leaving out how many times our wrists were nearly dislocated because the girls like to hold our hands and do flying leaps and twists off of everything or how H1 kicked her sister in the chest because she takes any pause in activity for an opportunity to practice arabesque.  When the ears turn off, we figure it’s food, so then we started forcing everything we had at hand upon the girls.  

We had two protein bars and some weird toast things with jam.  It had to work.

Marching across the Piazza, we made it for our reservation and headed immediately up the stairs.  The climb was definitely harder yesterday, but my legs weren’t quite as tired yesterday either.  The nice thing about the Duomo climb is that the up and down traffic is separated for most of the climb and that they limit the amount of people at a time so there is no log jam.  

That didn’t stop a curly headed boy from breathing heavily on my wife for much of the down trip, but at least no one was getting free feelskis on me.  

It’s always amazing to me how the girls have no fear of heights whatsoever.  They pop out of the top onto the cupola and start skipping for the railing, trying to pull themselves up, hanging on it, pushing it, shaking it.  It’s not like the drop is hidden from them, it’s clear that it’s super far, they just don’t seem to give a rip.  It’s a blessing and a curse to have such adventurers. Part of me wishes they’d be scared just for a minute so that I wouldn’t have to run after them all the time, but the other part of me is so proud that they are strong and brave and independent.  I guess I’ll just have to keep up my cardio training.  

Like yesterday, they were ready to go down as soon as they went up, so down we went, flying around Brunelleschi's inner workings of the dome all, past the fresco, to the bottom.  

Look closely, someone drew the rocketship upside down...

I’ve wanted to see the Medici chapels and their Michaelangelo’s since the last time were were here 8 years ago, but by the time we got there, they were closed.  

I heard somewhere that you should travel like you’ll be back.  Those statues have been there for over 600 years - I think they’ll be here a while longer and we will definitely be back.  I try not to set too much in stone that I have to see and I try not to get disappointed about what doesn’t or does happen.  With kids, there is no predicting how a day will go, so we ride it out and travel like we will be back.

We had promised more carousel rides, but we didn’t realize that Sunday was the real weekend in Florence.  It seemed like every family came out to the streets to walk and talk and enjoy the break from the rain.  It was really nice to see people strolling together without headphones in and without all the separation between each other that our car driven lifestyle brings.  Bottom line, the line for the carousel was super long.  

So on the walk to the Ponte Vecchio, we had to listen to H2 rant about how you said I could do the carousel, you lied!  You said that after...even though we had promised we would ride it later in the evening.  

Moods brightened when I lifted them up onto the old stone walls so they could see the river and watch the sun set over the Arno.  It was beautiful.  

Until I lifted the girls down and set H2 off on another rant against the tyranny of adults.  

We walked across and then back, heading back to the carousel for what we hoped would be a final ride.  It was so busy that the girls had to share a horse, and then when a toddler abandoned her’s, H2 leapt from the saddle to commandeer her own ride mid ride.  

This led us to near what Americans call dinner time, 5:30pm.  However, like I wrote before, most places don’t open until 7:30pm.  With two irate girls on our hands, we needed food STAT.  Thank Odin, the restaurant from last night opened at 6:30, so by the time we got washed up at home and dropped our stuff off, it was time to eat.  

They were so ridiculously nice to the girls and us that it made the experience even better.  The whole family works together in the restaurant, and from the moment we came in, the dad, clearly a Papa was fawning on the girls and then the mom came out to take our order and drew the girls birds, ducks, and pigs on their sketchpads.  The girls were so confused but so happy to see the drawings and proud to show off their own.  

KEY MOMENT: Folks, for our long time followers, I highly suggest you grab a seat.  H1 ate a plate of tagliatelle al ragu.  That’s right - NOODLES WITH MEAT SAUCE AND IT WAS RED.  I nearly died.  She ate everything.  Then, she ATE BOAR.  Unbelievable.

The girls made me and S regale them with tales of yore, H2 interested in funny and baby stories, and H1 interested in times when I had been and I quote bad, so bad, so very bad!

We were laughing and eating and drinking and sharing a truly fantastic dinner together.  I know it’s not officially Thanksgiving, but I am truly grateful for the way a day can turn around and for how lucky we are to have each other.  The laughter and the love was flowing and it was magic.  

And H1 ate!

KEY MOMENT: When asking about times we’ve been bad, H1 asked about the time S was arrested (didn’t happen) and H2 piped up saying “YEAH! Haven’t you been arrested, like, what, 20 times?” H1 answered that with “NO, it was like 20 speeding tickets!” (more realistic)

After the girls knocked back some biscotti and S and I are meloncello (unbelievably good), we headed out in search of Gelateria di Neri in the light Florentine rain.  The streets were pretty empty being a Sunday night and raining, but we enjoyed the brisk walk huddled against the sides of the buildings to stay dry.  

We arrived and our fears were eliminated as we saw the light on and the door open.  We stepped to the magical counter and got…

ICE CREAM #2

Then, we witnessed a crime.  AND OF COURSE IT WAS BLONDE GIRLS!

Three blonde girls ordered Nutella crepes which are the most labor intensive thing at the place, then they dined and dashed!  They ate like ⅓ of the crepes they ordered, and while the poor guy was making one more - they split!

S rushed to the door to holler at them, but alas, they were gone into the night.  

That was so stressful that we all had…

ICE CREAM #3

As I stood there waiting, an American dad said, “I don’t want to break a 50 on this!” and I almost turned around and said what more is there to life than this! Sweeping my arm dramatically across the selection of fine gelatos.

Instead I laughed to myself that this fool will not sample the perfection on a cone that was now mine.  

With our road cones in hand, we headed through the dark streets with their puddles mirroring the glow of streetlights.  

It’s our last night in Florence.  We head out tomorrow at 11am to catch a train to Rome, and I think we all wish we had a little more time here.  

Today was yet another lesson for Team G on why you never give up on a day.  The behavior today was challenging.  Don’t ever be mistaken - the girls never forget they are kids and they definitely aren’t perfect.  

But we kept trying, we kept forging ahead, and we kept working for the results we wanted.  

As we laughed at dinner and looked into each other’s faces, I knew that every little bump was worth it and brought us to this catharsis.  

I like to answer people when they ask, “how do you do it? (dance so well/travel with children)” With “you just do it,” but in reality, yeah, you just do it, but the doing it is a hell of a lot of work.  

But when you are spending the precious time we have here on earth with the little people who matter most, every moment of work is worth it.  

Ciao!