11.18.16 - How could one man carve such a big booty?

11.18.16

“How could one man carve such a big booty?”

The one good take away from last night is that H1 sleep the entire night.  Beyond that, it was H2 and S up at 3:30am - one of them hungry and both unable to get back to bed.  H2 and S talked about what they were going to do that day and discussed seeing enormous statues carved from blocks of marble. H2's mind always goes for the intensely human parts of the figure asking S, how could one man carve such a big booty? I sort of marinated in bed for an hour or two, trying to get back to sleep until finally, I think all of us fell asleep from about 5:30am until 9:30am.  

At about 11am, after many requests to put on shoes went unlistened to and unheeded, we finally started down the stairs to start our day.  Down the street about 500m is the Piazza Signoria, and we paid through the nose to have our girls fawned over by the waiter and to use a really nice toilet.  The cappuccino was excellent and H1 and H2 actually sat in their own chairs for ½ of the meal.  

We then had the day open, with no set plans, tours, or tickets in Florence.  We were steps from the Palazzo Vecchio and the Uffizi, a half block from the Arno, so we walked to the river and scoped the scene.  Florence is pretty empty of tourists if there is such a thing here.  Just a few larger groups and then couples roaming the sites.  Everything we walked by was line free, so we started with the Palazzo since the girls wanted to climb the tower.  

About half way up, I think everyone was rethinking their desire to climb.  But forge ahead we did, and we made it to the top, just before they closed it due to rain.  The view was incredible, but the girls were unsatisfied, asking why they couldn’t climb a perilous winding staircase to the highest point.  

I won’t sugar coat it: H1 is in full force this trip.  From refusing to put on a jacket because 48 degrees is not cold, to running up staircases and jumping down them in an apartment building, to blocking her sister from trying to get clothes, to refusing to eat or acknowledge that food is a necessity for human life, H1 has been testing all of us.  

H2 told me she had to pose with Dante because living with H1 was her own personal Inferno.

S and I got these huge sandwiches to share and of course, H1 turned her head in disgust.  She then began crying that she was tired, but being that she had the most sleep out of all of us, we knew it must be hunger.  She then had to, under supervision, eat a trail mix nut pack and a protein bar.  

It was literally like watching someone wipe an attitude away with a rag.  She was transformed.  

She was still a pill, but a less bitter one.

Luckily, the transformation came just in time for gelato.  2 flavors for 4 people.  H1 went for lemon and mint, which was pretty much orange juice and toothpaste.  She did not finish it.  Sometimes justice does come to those who wait.

Ice cream #1!

Refueled, we headed for the Uffizi.  With no line and sketchbooks in hand (lessons learned from the summer), we headed in.  

Everything is slightly disorganized and chaotic in Italy and the entry way was a perfect picture.  Security and ticketing in a room smaller than a bedroom, no one worrying if the metal detector went off, no one worrying about a screen in which to check the contents of the bags.  We were pushed by in line by an elderly gentleman in wrap around Raybans, sport coat, and white, ultra thin ponytail and his leathery wife in a mini dress - who then had to wait in line at the same time as us for tickets.  

Once inside, it was a rush and time game to save their energy for the crucial works.  This was no leisurely stroll.  We were on a mission to see Botticelli's.  

Time to sketch NUDES.

The girls sketched and asked Biblical questions I am far from qualified to answer, but they seemed to genuinely enjoy the first part of the museum.  H1 was able to stay engaged throughout, but after one too many holy families, H2 lost her chill and started sagging her shoulders and dragging herself after me asking to be picked up.

Ducking past large tour groups all plugged into their headphones and narrations, we made it back through the museum and through the exit.  

I think at this point, everyone was running low on patience and energy and in need of gelato.  A few streets in on the way to our apartment, we found Perche No? Which translates to why not?  

Ice cream #2!

Seriously people, this stuff is incredible.  Earlier I had rice pudding flavored gelato and this time I had lavender - it’s insane.  

I watched fascinated as H2 managed to get a cup of ice cream all over herself without a single drip falling from her spoon.  The physics of bowls are hard to grasp.

We hung out at the apartment for a few minutes, dropped our day pack, and then headed out for an early dinner.  The main problem being, Italians don’t eat early.  Most restaurants only open at 7:30pm and we were trying for 6:30pm.  Desperate, we walked down the first nearby side street to the first open door, and had a pretty solid dinner.  

Well, solid after H1 decided to actually eat.  She had ravioli (which she likes) and then she ate a bite of it here (which she liked), but then decided she didn’t like how it looked, so she said she only wanted the corners of the ravioli (meaning ones where she couldn’t see that it had cheese in it).  This went back and forth for awhile, but the silver lining is, H1 ate almost a whole plate of ravioli.  Mostly with her eyes closed and mostly doing this weird scrunchy face head shake thing while she put it in, but she ate it.  

 G and H1 make amends for what they said when they were hungry.

H2 had no issues and polished off a bowl of pasta and wild boar ragu with great gusto.  

An accidental math penis - shout out to all the mathamagicians out there! (you know who you are)

We decided to walk down a new street to the apartment, leading to…

KEY MOMENT: a cute bus (according to Steph) tried to turn down a small side street but was blocked by a tiny Fiat with its hazards on in front of a restaurant.  This led to first a honking match which brought out everyone from the nearby businesses, then a shouting match, which brought even more players to the game, until finally, the bus backed up and let some of the traffic go by - yet it was still stuck in the side street.  S told me we couldn’t go because she needed to see how this thing played out.  The end result was that the passengers had to pour of the bus and the street remained clogged with a TON of cars behind the bus.  

Scene of the crime.

I was shooting for 3 gelatos today, but it was closed by the time we got there.  We had to settle for cookies and tortes, but it doesn’t help up the ice cream numbers so it’s not even worth it really.  

Today’s take away was a reminder that H1 doesn’t know the difference between tired and hungry because she refuses to acknowledge that she would feel either one, and that H1 without food or when trying to get her to eat food is a bear to deal with.  S told me early in the day that she was glad that we never sugar coat anything or try to present it as something different from the reality of life with kids.  So without an ounce of sugar to take the bitter pill, H1 continues to try our patience.  We keep trying to figure out new ways to meet her needs, but she is in an arms race and constantly develops new ways to have new needs be met.  

Tomorrow is a new day and there are new snacks to be had.  

I’m thinking we get a jump on hunger and start tomorrow with two pastries.

The super safe loft in our apartment.