11.13.16 - I'm gonna eat it for breakfast...EVERYDAY!

11.13.16

“I’m gonna eat it for breakfast...EVERYDAY!”

We aren’t above bribery.

As a parent, the amount of advice inputs is staggering.  Be a helicopter, be a free-ranger, be a koala, a tiger, a panda, a dinosaur - it’s confusing and conflicting and contradictory.  

Some experts say not to bargain with your children.  They, like the U.S. government, don’t make deals with terrorists.  

I understand.  I really do.  Some days, I try not to bargain.  Some days, I try not to make deals with the guerilla fighters that torment me with elbow drops, knees to the groin, and complaints about how my scrambled eggs look or how much jelly I put on a sandwich.  

But mostly, I’m coming to accept that if you want to get things done, you’ve got to keep your kids engaged and happy and often a deal.  Often that requires ice cream.

YAS! Tooth is out!

…

Preparation is crucial.  

Actually, I’m not sure if that’s true, but I feel a lot better when I say it.  

Kid prep is a special type, especially when one is a beginning reader and the other thinks an M is a X.  They aren’t going to soak up trip preparation without some scaffolding.  

No quality kid guide books exist for a 1st grader so the job of creating the excitement and understanding of what we are leaping into falls to me and S.  

And the TV.

NO! My sister's tooth is out!

Our go-to is the main man, Ricky Stevey.  Ricky Stevey is according to H1, her boyfriend.  I’m not too excited about the age differential, but at least the dude is a world traveller.  

Rick brings the knowledge about the cities we are visiting in a friendly way.  He makes the places seem safe and warm and homey, and I suppose this is why he is such a hit with Americans of a certain age.  He’s got that homespun charm and non-threatening approach that draws kids and those just beyond middle age in.  They both like corny jokes and velcro shoes.

Secondarily, we watch tons of youtube videos on food.  I have watched every gelato video imaginable and we continue to return to them because in all honesty, I think it’s only gelato that is going to get these kids on the plane.  

Here is a recent conversation about travelling:

S: I’m getting so excited for our trip!

H2: Boring.

H1: I’m not.

S: Can we try to say something positive?

H2: Boooooorrrring.  

H1: A fairy is going to give me a coin and I’m going to go into fairy land and all my friends are going to be there.

S:...

So the current approach has been:

G: Look at this gelato!  You can get a huge cone!

H1: (licks lips)

H2: (exuberant dancing)

G: There is one on every corner in Italy!  It is a land made of gelato!

H1 and H2: (dancing and breaking into a joyous song singing the praises of gelato)

Anytime I see a picture of gelato or cake or pastries (or coffee for H2), I save it to show to the girls because the art and history and adventure part of things, it just ain’t cutting it.  

And I can’t really blame them.  Everyone knows I’m just travelling for the food too.

…

Life is a bargain.  It’s all a negotiation.  It’s all deciding what you are willing to give up to have the things you want or need at that time or if you are really skilled, those things you want or need in the future.  

But that whole delayed gratification thing is a mess.  And more so for kids.  Telling them they are going to get culture and history on a trip has no tangibility.  You can’t touch it or eat it or play with it.  Its use value in their mind is naught.  

So we bargain.  We make deals.  We make vast promises of bathtubs full of gelato.  

Because the bargain in the short term is paving the way for those cultural, social gains in the long term.  S and I’s gratification will come and does come when we see the girls continue to grow into world citizens.  When we see them act with understanding and kindness - we are repaid.

Seems like paying in ice cream is a pretty sweet deal.